I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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