Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize