if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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