words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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