I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
where are you?
Hypothermia
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
