Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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