Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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