he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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