I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize