Plan B is the new Plan A
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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