people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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