bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize