i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
