Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
