I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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