I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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