his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
