some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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