lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
