I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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