That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
