Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
