we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
