She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I want a musical about memes.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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