just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
