i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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