He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
