so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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