So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
