He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i drank out of a bidet.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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