If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
