I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize