I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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