i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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