omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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