I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
