if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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