did you get engaged???
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
