That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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