NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
worst night to have a conscience
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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