I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize