okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
