So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
