we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize