Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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