i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
