i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
