I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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