Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
