I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
