Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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