You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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