he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
