If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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