All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
