R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
