i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
