Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
