how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
