were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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