dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
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we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
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My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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