All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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