you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just forgot I was standing up.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize